Anchor 03-01-10
March 3, 2010
I am sitting here trying to process, trying to find and receive
comfort. My brain hurts, as I am not filled with caffeine today. My
heart cries quietly, "Where are you, God? I need to hear Your voice."
Disappointment is a difficult emotion and sensation to feel. It's
partners are doubt and fear. I quiet myself and listen . . . there is
no new word to comfort me . . . no new promise . . . Could it be that
when God is quiet, that we already hold the word or promise He has
given us, the provision for our souls and spirits that we need?
I think sometimes that the Holy Spirit is working so deeply inside of us that our outside layers do not see it, unless we stop and rest. This working on our hearts while our outside circumstances are difficult to watch and experience is common. Our God is after our hearts . . . after all. "But Lord, I thought You would deliver me/us from this. I thought You would straighten all of this out for us. I thought I/she/he would be healed." For me, I thought God would somehow get us out of the financial mess we are in. I was hoping for something supernatural to happen here . . .but it looks as though God is after my heart . . . again. I most often think I know what my needs are, as I am fairly self aware . . . but God sees His purpose and how my life will best fit within it. I thought that being debt-free was how my family would be most able to serve the Lord and be a light, and have the freedom to live differently than the rest of the world. Yet the call to faithfully receive His faithfulness is deeper. His depth calls to my depth, and there we meet. So many things shift and rise and fall, so many details in the day, and days to come. And yet He is steady, and still, and unchanging, and from a very deep place calls to us to come down from the surface of a very big ocean and sit with Him, breath His air, hold onto His stillness and be comforted. With Love and Nutrients,
Jennifer.
I think sometimes that the Holy Spirit is working so deeply inside of us that our outside layers do not see it, unless we stop and rest. This working on our hearts while our outside circumstances are difficult to watch and experience is common. Our God is after our hearts . . . after all. "But Lord, I thought You would deliver me/us from this. I thought You would straighten all of this out for us. I thought I/she/he would be healed." For me, I thought God would somehow get us out of the financial mess we are in. I was hoping for something supernatural to happen here . . .but it looks as though God is after my heart . . . again. I most often think I know what my needs are, as I am fairly self aware . . . but God sees His purpose and how my life will best fit within it. I thought that being debt-free was how my family would be most able to serve the Lord and be a light, and have the freedom to live differently than the rest of the world. Yet the call to faithfully receive His faithfulness is deeper. His depth calls to my depth, and there we meet. So many things shift and rise and fall, so many details in the day, and days to come. And yet He is steady, and still, and unchanging, and from a very deep place calls to us to come down from the surface of a very big ocean and sit with Him, breath His air, hold onto His stillness and be comforted. With Love and Nutrients,
Jennifer.
Posted by Jennifer Bluhm
